SATURDAY: The middle full day

115. Slow start today… I’m freezing in Bed-Stuy.
116. Ok, a little bit of chiptune noodling, talking to Josh’s roomies and we’re off!
117. Stood on Josh’s roof for a bit and looked over Brooklyn. Damn that’s awesome. There’s that steroidal hulk, Manhattan, in the distance.
118. Gonna hit the convenience store for something to drink. This city is very dehydrating, somehow.
119. WTF! “Purple drink” and “blue drink” for 25 cents a pop! BUY BUY BUY
120. OH GOD THEY RUINED MY STOMACH. Maybe they’ll help with my stomach problem, at least.
121. SUBWAY TO CHINATOWN! Yeeeeeah!
122. Someone has tried to sell me turtles on the street in Chinatown. Want to buy and lose in a sewer with mutagenic ooze SO BADLY.
123. Also, there was a truck that women kept coming out of with knockoff coach bags. And a guy standing nearby with a litte catalogue. Knockoffs be FANCY here.
124. And BOLT on DVD. Is that even out yet?
125. To TAI PAN for lunch. It’s like a bakery, but chinese, and with cheeseburgers, and CHEAP! WTF! 1.25 sandwiches remind me of MTL Yoy Cafe Crackwiches!
126. I should explain: in MTL, at Yoy Cafe, there are these “vietnamese subs” that are AMAZINGLY DELICIOUS. These are similar.
127. To the Chinatown Faire! Which is an arcade, apparently!
128. They just got a BlazBlue machine (the Guilty Gear guys made it apparently) and two SFIV machines. CALECHE!
129. Justin Wong is playing SFIV and killing scrubs left and right! Whoa, I’m mildly starstruck.
130. Okay, there’s too much noise here– Kelvin and I are going to go walk across the bridge.
131. But first, we stop in this place called Baby’s, each order a soda, and take turns using the washroom. FINALLY! I had to plunge the terlet when done. Embarrassing!
132. We get directions to the bridge, and walk over the bridge with some Lucky Strikes. Lots of good chats about life and all that stuff.
133. Weird: a cop car with what looked like a blinking field goal post on top of it on the bridge.
134. Some girl looking so hipster that she’s almost a 1920s period piece standing on the bridge reading a book being filmed. A LONG shot it seems. Oh, art films.
135. We got here, it’s getting dark. Let’s explore DUMBO.
136. Some wandering, the bagel shop we tried to hit was closed by 5pm, LAME, so we’re at the waterside now.
137. SKIPPIN’ STONES IN THE HUDSON. Seriously.
138. Haha, after we skipped stones some other people joined in. They are two couples that look like clones of each other.
139. How are we gonna get back to Manhattan to meet toiders for dinner in Chinatown? I guess by walking the bridge… again!
140. Took ages, but we got here. They are on their way out of this place. We had the wrong addy so waited outside 17, not 15 Mott, for a while!
141. We finally got in as people were leaving, and they offered us their leftovers, which we ate like starving bums. THAT’S a first effin’ impression.
142. I met so many people that I don’t even think I got all of their names… Tino, Chelsea, Melanie, Pedro, damn, I suck at remembering names…
143. Off to Blip we all go! We are many and noisy and nerdy. Like a cloud of bleeping nanobots. Or something.
144. Didn’t get lost this time! There’s a line for over 21 bracelets. It’s been FOREVER since I was at all ages shows, heh. Getting carded is novel.
145. I love when they look at my Ontario driver’s license funny. Hehehe.
146. Bubblyfish goes on and Kelvin calls her method of presentation “celestial” which I find really funny. Indeed her movements are certainly informed by Greek theatre in their over-the-topness.
147. Pretty dope set though, and I love Kraftwerk so the “it’s more fun to compute” cover is fun. Wait is that a “sweet dreams” cover as well? 2 covers in one set? ok…
148. There’s a Japanese guy named Cow’p who busts out some INSANE gameboy dancehall that SLAYS me/kel. The nerds here aint feeling it as much. SHAMEFUL. This is more relevant than a lot of this other stuff.
149. Nullsleep goes on. It’s ok I guess, not as much my thing as the last guy. Kelvin: “write that this guy acts like Dane Cook.” Done.
150. Dubmoon plays an 8-bit Silent Shout by the Knife. I’m wondering if it’s ethically sound to play a cover and not say it’s a cover to people who don’t know the original.
151. One of these things had a video in it full of weird sex imagery involving the man and woman on bathroom doors.
152. It’s pretty transgressive-but-in-that-bullshit-current-already-been-done way and just offensive. I go outside for a SMOOK.
153. Tiff and– was it… Chico? Shit, I forget– are outside. I think I made some joke about Canada. I forget. I was kinda drunk and had just hit my head on some metal.
154. We leave, no fight tonight, but Josh is very drunk. He needs to pee. I recommend peeing ANYWHERE, Montreal style, but apparnetly you cna get arrested for that in NYC?
155. Josh and I end up peeing off a bridge, which the Americans find hilarious but I find pretty normal. I got some pee on me, DAMNIT.
156. We wait like 30 mins for a stupid G train.
157. ACHIEVEMENT UNLOCKED: rode a NYC subway smelling of pee. 50 HOBOSCORE POINTS.
158. Finally in Bed-Stuy, I go to one of these Bodega things. Money in turntable, spins, food out turntable! So weird!
159. Getting a boatload of microwaved chickenburgers! Some guy is annoyed and cuts line to get his $1 “vanilla dutch” cigar. AMAZING! This neighborhood!
160. There’s an angry black guy on a phone yelling “there’s gonna be trouble!” Al thinks he’s talking to us and FREAKS OUT.
161. These chicken burgers, like all american fast food so far, WEIGH SO MUCH IN MY HAND. tip: to feel full with less food, STOP MAKING ALL MEALS OF LEAD, USA.
162. Forgot to mention: on Friday, in Brooklyn, we saw a cop car with a guard tower like ATTACHED to it or something. WTF? Mobile sniper tower?
163. Back to Josh’s for drunken sleeptime.

SUNDAY: The last full day

164. Woke up late in Bed-Stuy. Slow morning. Said goodbye to Nick and Al, cos they’re leaving today and Kel&I are striking out on our lonesome for a while.
165. Seems like cops blocked off Myrtle just beyond the subway stop. THIS CITY IS FULL OF COPS. Are there like 10 cops per person here or something?
166. Heading back to the hostel after hitting “Duane Reade” which is apparently a pharmacy chain. Showertime. This city is full of “Polish Spring” bottled water.
167. Murray’s Bagel time: is this gonna be the MTL killer? Order a sesame with creamcheese and lox for maximum effect. $10 later… good lox, good cheese, bleh bagel. MTL WINS. FATALITY.
168. After some piddling around, going to St. Marks for more randomness. We go to a place with used records so Kelvin can dig. He finds a disco record he maybe wants.
169. Guy behind the counter is kinda awkward Asian guy who laughs and says “disco? really?” but tries to be nice about it. It’s not the rec kelvin wants anyway, bounce time.
170. To Videogames New York. A man works here who is like THE ARCHETYPE of the manchild: 40, spiky bleached hair, listening to Slayer, video game elitist mofo. Nutty prices.
171. His friend and him argue over who will watch the store and who will go out to get someting to drink. Friend is classic “friend of VG store employee” archetype: whiny.
172. Texting w/ Cara to find out where to go in the LES since last time was a bit of a failure, IMO. Other Music already on the list to buy LOVE IS ALL tickets!!!
173. We have NOTHING to do until the Love is All show at like 8 or 9. Hmm. It’s like 5.
174. At Other Music, asked if tix to tonight’s show have been sent back to the venue yet. Apparently not but she can’t find them.
175. 10 mins later, they WERE sent after all. Tickets at the door, yaaaaaaaaaay~ :( I guess we’ll get there for 8:30 or so. Still a lot of time to kill
176. Cara said to hit the Snack Dragon, so we shall check it out… but not before we wander around uselessly for a while.
177. OK! Snack Dragon! We get some tacos, and some spice tea, and some CHIPOTLE BROWNIES (the latter was a ma z i nn ggggg). GREAT meal all around.
178. We chat with the guy who works there for like an hour. He’s paying $290 for an apartment in Brooklyn!!!! Good God!!!!! He also told us about his time in Chicago, SF, and Austin.
179. What a cool dude. I liked chatting with him. But we’ve overstayed our welcome at The Village Voice’s #1 place to get a drunk taco at 3am.
180. We wander some more; there’s a Turkish place. I decide to introduce Kelvin to Turkish coffee. He loves it and calls it “deep, like good bass.”
181. Continuing his comparison of TC to good bass: “Kinda fuzzy, kinda bitter, and dark, but not in an evil way. And loud.” Kelvin is the best.
182. We are staying here and writing notes on everything to happen, so I don’t forget anything when I write this post. This place is called Bereket, and its kebabs look AMAZING but we just ate.
183. I really gotta rock the washroom. I do so, and the toilet stops working. I tell Kelvin we gotta leave NOW, that deuce is wicked bad. They will LYNCH us if we don’t go now.
184. At this point, we head to the venue because why not. Apparently it is starting at 8:30 anyway. Get tix at door, and head in.
185. I’ve never seen so many uncomf-looking hipster tryhards at once ever. It takes a LOT for me to feel like a total bro ANYWHERE I go but I do here. Wow.
186. Damn you, Bowery. $6 a beer? At least I get to try Sierra Nevada Pale Ale, which is GREAT. Kel and I decide to kil our money, since this is it.
187. Nobody who was considering coming to this tonight is apparently coming so it’s just Kelvin and me. Their loss, this band is gonna rule.
188. The first act was turd. Cold Cave? We didn’t even go up, sounded like boring white noise A Place To Bury Biters nonsense. We gettin’ DRUNK again.
189. Someone we struck convo up with: “didn’t aphex twin do this 12 years ago?” HAHA. Off the mark but still funny. They’re less douchey than others cos they’re here to see thier friend guest-play trumpet for one of the bands.
190. There’s an auto paper towel dispenser in the toilets that is ANNOYING. Me and this other dude STRUGGLE with it a LOT. When done, I look over at him and say, “I hate the future,” and leave. He LOLs.
191. I go upstairs to watch the second act, mostly to get a good place to see the third and final band. Crystal Stilts, they’re called.
192. THEY ARE OFFENSIVELY BORING. Like if The Organ wasn’t a bunch of lesbians. Or if Morrissey was a boring Morrissey ripoff. Kelvin boos.
193. Kelvin talks to some girl about how that band sucked. Is he playing game? I can’t tell, too busy trying to slowly edge up for LIA.
194. They’re on. They’re burn my two fave songs in the first 3 tracks. They are also P E R F E C T. I have needed this.
195. A Flock Of Seagulls, you just got covered. That was the best version of I Ran I’ve ever heard, and I LOVE the original.
196. Seriously… this set is too good. Too bad all of these NYC kids are so jaded; this act BELONGS in Montreal. Land of emotion-charged, catharsis-loving mofos. Will see THAT on Wednesday. Excited!
197. Outside, trying to hook up with Dtoiders tonight. So not gonna happen; we’re drunk and wandering around dumbly, and kinda lost.
198. There’s a chinese place open, where we get a chicken fried rice and two tsingtaos for 11 bucks. Great deal! Plus, weird Chinese cartoons on the TV. South Park meets Jetsons.
199. They are trying to get rid of us. They’re closing. Good enough for me, we need to go sleep.
200. WANDERING THROUGH MANHATTAN looking for an A/C/E at 1am on a Sunday. I ask for directions and get some, finally. I remember I have my camera.
201. We start exploring and taking photos. I kick out the JAMS on my Nikon with 400 aperture B&W film. Coming soon, probably: 50 all-black useless photos.
202. We find a little wedge of space with: a graveyard, a playground, and a pit of balconies. This space is, like, near Chinatown, and maybe 30 feet across. INSANE.
203. Ok, on a C train. Back and sleep.

MONDAY: The ride home

204. Hung over.
205. Trying to hook up with people for breakfast, but they’re all busy. For the best, probably; we need to be on a bus in 2.5h.
206. Slowly get up, say goodbye to Chelsea, and subway up to the port authority.
207. There’s pizza here; I get some. it is brooklyn-style, probably not the best, but it was pretty good to me at 10:30 in the morning, I guess.
208. Two people working here: “Hey, Neal, you do good work! I just wish you did more of it!” Awesome.
209. Buy snacks for the bus (almonds), almost finish off my American money. Also, some Fanta! The orange stuff!!!! YES!!!!!
210. Remember that I did the equivalent of drunk-dialing the Dtoid NY emailer last night, forget what I said. No way to check now, yikes.
211. I miss my city. I feel like if I were here too long I’d be as jaded as those kids at the Bowery last night. It only took a few years in MTL to make me a wide-eyed dorky MTLer, after all.
212. This is a long ride home for someone with nothing to think about.
213. Kelvin plays my DS, Bangai-O spirits, and I listen to LCD soundsystem and Love is all. There’s a cute girl sitting beside me but her hair is odd.
214. Albany again; we find a used book store run by an eccentric old man. It has records. Kelvin digs ‘em and finds 3. See, NYC record prices are stupid; here, they’re nice.
215. BOOOOOOOORING SO BORED
216. At the border. Also boring.
217. My phone died! I coulda used it here to get online! BAD TIMING!
218. Seeing Montreal from the outskirts, realizing how much smaller it really is. I’ve never come to MTL from Longeuil like this; it’s an interesting new way to see it.
219. Back in MTL. Kelvin has to catch the Ottawa bus so I will go home on my own.
220. Hanging out in giant gaggles of people seeing shows all weekend to being home alone (well, except my roomies) doing nothing… this is a difficult transition.
221. I get on my computer, aaaaaaand… THAT’s the end of my Internet vacation. END COMMUNICATION.

Soon on brilli.am/writes — I’ll be talknig about my review policy for games, and I’ll review one! Yay!