Finally, it begins. I see maybe 30 movies a year in the theatre, and about 25 of those are in July for the Fantasia International Film Festival. I am not a big fan of going to films– I hate the chair-kicking bros behind me who make grossed-out noises during Brokeback Mountain (what did you assholes expect?) and crying kids and that dumb bastard who sits in front of you and declares in a loud whisper to his wife “THAT’S HIS GOOD WINE!” when Paul Giamatti breaks out his Pinot Grigio in a fast food joint in Sideways (dude, you’re either married to the dumbest woman ever, or SHE ALREADY FIGURED IT OUT AND YOU NEED TO JUST SHUT UP). I also don’t really care for the fare that you “need” to see in a cinema– I’d rather watch Spiderman or Transformers or whatever on DVD than on a big, loud screen surrounded by assholes.

That all changes in July, though, when Fantasia rolls into town. Instead of stupid chair kickers and dumb middle-aged dudes who tell you what’s hpapening on the screen you get a bunch of film geeks who are really excited to see the source material. And, even more important, you get to see a bunch of movies that you ACTUALLY have to see in theatres– because you will probably never find a DVD or even a torrent of some of these obscure flicks from around the world. Or, since it’s basically a “genre” film festival, there’s some stuff you have to see in theatres because it so damn scary that you need to experience 300 other people SCREAMING (last year’s [REC] for example).

Last year, [REC] and 4bia and ESPECIALLY Adrift In Tokyo (I feel like an idiot for not putting it on my top 5 movies from last year) blew me away. I’m hoping this year will be as good. Here are some of the highlights, at least, for me now (I have yet to actually watch these, so they might be disappointments– we shall see):

Daytime Drinking — in Korea, there’s a rule: never turn down the first drink someone offers you. A dude goes to a resort town in winter (not exactly when it’s packed with people) to meet friends who aren’t there. He wanders around and people keep giving him soju (rice-based alcoholic beverage, about 20%, vodka-esque). It was shot on $20,000 and it’s apparently beautiful and funny.

Thirst — Have you seen Oldboy? Because the director of Oldboy has a new movie. About a priest. Who is a vampire.

Dream — I suppose all I can say is that Kim Ki-Duk directed this. If this means anything to you, you’re excited. If not, well, watch 3-Iron, The Isle, and Spring Summer Fall Winter And Spring. Especially 3-Iron, though.

Power Kids — Okay, it’s a kid’s movie, but… damn it, lsiten to how amazing this is. It’s the same producers as Ong Bak. They got four kids and trained the hell out of them to make them Muay Thai machines. They made a movie with them. They do their own stunts. This is like Tony Jaa meets SURF NINJAS. From THAILAND. How could that not be incredible?! SO MANY KID KNEES TO THE FACE!

Grace — Dead babies and crazy moms scare me. This seriously looks scary as hell.

Instant Swamp — the trailer’s only in Japanese so I won’t link it, but it’s by the Adrift in Tokyo guy, so here’s that trailer. It was one of the most charming movies I ever saw, so I am gonig into his next movie blind.

Hells — some really crazy looking anime movie. Don’t know much of anything about it, but I’ll check it out.

The Chaser — While the director of Oldboy has a different film at the festival, this is apparently the REAL spiritual successor– keeping that awesome Korean New Wave brutal flick thing going.

Playing Columbine — A documentary about Super Columbine Massacre RPG? Well, okay. Seeing it in Montreal, with the bit about Kimveer Gill… there are gonna be some not-impressed people, I reckon. It’ll be interesting to see a film open a dialogue about games as more than just mindless nerdy entertainment.

Black — film from France about a Senegalese dude stealing diamonds with an awesome funk soundtrack and scenes that look like they’re out of every 70s exploitation or 80s action flick. I am really excited for this. Also, the pun at the end: “L’afrique? No. Le fric, oui.” Amazing. I guess you have to understand a bit of French for it to be funny, but it is.

Best Worst Movie / Troll 2 — Troll 2 is considered one of the worst films ever made. It has an insane cult following. This documentary, directed by the guy who played the kid in it, explores the phenomenon. It’s followed by a screening of Troll 2.

I’m also seeing a few other movies: Blue Film Woman, Canary, Cryptic, Deadgirl, and Breathless… I know next to nothing about them though, so perhaps I’ll talk about them once I see them. I am seeing the first 5 movies on my list over the next three days, so expect to hear back!